Gin is a Womanizer
by Exactly.As.Planned
Summary: Note: I like spelling Jaegerjaquez. Dedicated to: setokaibagirl749. Parody to Womanizer. GrimmGin, GrimmUlqui. -“And maybe we could be ya boys.” Grimmjow scoffed. “But we can’t ‘cause we don’t.”--“You-you-you are,” Aizen added, just for the hell of it.-


What Grimmjow didn't understand (nor did he want to understand, honestly) was Gin Ichimaru. Just last week, Gin was promising his eternal love to the Sixth Espada. And, the day after Gin was doing the same to the creepy Spoon Man. A couple days ago, Gin was promising eternally love to Ulquiorra who just… Well, he didn't do anything except stare, scoff, and walk away, but still! And then, AND THEN the day after the Ulquiorra-Gin incident, Gin was lovin' up to Aizen! So now, here they were, staring at each other. One stared with contempt and the other confusion. Guess who's who. The blue haired man huffed in annoyance, completely unlike his usual self. He couldn't really help it! He was annoyed and, dare he think it, heartbroken. Curse it.

"Wha' da ya want ta talk about, Grimmy?" Gin cooed, using a creepy nickname for Grimmjow. A _really_ creepy nickname. The blue haired man cringed and made a disgusted face. He never particularly liked that nickname, even when it was Gin using it.

"You are a whore," the creepily nicknamed Espada announced, his voice echoing off the walls. The other few Espada and Aizen glanced over before essentially saying 'Fuck It, it's Ichimaru versus Jaegerjaquez, we don't care.' What douche bags.

"Wha' da ya mean, Grimmy?" however, he smirked at the disturbed look that crossed Grimmjow's face again. Creep.

"I saw you," he stated. "With Jiruga. Then Cifer. Then Aizen-Sama."

Gin tilted his head to the side. "But I picked ya firs'," he stated as if speaking to a Special Ed kid.

Grimmjow scoffed. "Don't mean nothing," he snapped. "You're still a damn whore!"

Gin sighed in anger. "Grimmy, now, don' ya go accusin' me o' things ya can' prove."

"I saw you! I can damn well prove it, Gin!"

"I do so doubt ya, Grimmy." Gin turned to walk away and Grimmjow growled in frustration. He knew beating the shit out of Gin would be no good no matter what; Grimmjow wasn't _that_ stupid. So what the hell could he do? He thought for a moment as Gin got farther and farther away and it clicked.

"**Superstar**," Grimmjow began singing. The room fell silent and Aizen cast an amused glance at him and Gin froze. "**Where ya from, how's it going**?" Grimmjow smirked at Gin's frozen figure. He pointed at himself, "**I know you**," he motioned towards Gin despite the fact that the man couldn't see him… Yet. "**Gotta clue what'cha doin'**?" he taunted, motioning from himself to the Creepy Spoon Dude who doesn't deserve a name, creepy Cifer, then Aizen. "**You can play brand new to all the other boys out here**," he motioned towards the other Espada, "**But I know what'cha are, what'cha are, Gin, dear**."

Grimmjow scoffed as Gin turned slowly, horror etched in the lines of his face. "**Look at you**," Grimmjow scoffed, placing the tips of his fingers of his left hand on his forehead, tilting his head back, "**gettin' more than just a re-up**." He sighed in exasperation. "**Sweetheart, you**," Grimmjow mentally vomited at _that_ nickname. He _almost_ preferred 'Grimmy' to 'Sweetheart'. Almost. "**Got all them puppets with the strings up**," he waved at the Creepy Spoon Dude, "**Fakin' like a good one but I call 'em like I see 'em I know what'cha are, what'cha are, Sweetheart**."

Gin cringed and Ulquiorra edged closer, itching –though he would pimp-slap whoever commented on that fact- to see what Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez had in store for the 'Lady' Killer Gin Ichimaru. That and Ulquiorra harbored feelings for the Sixth Espada. He only interfered with his fights because he got to be near the Jaegerjaquez boy.

Grimmjow shrugged in an 'Oops Can't Help Your Sorry Ass, Haha Bitch' kind of way at Gin. "**Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer. You're**," he pointed at Gin, "**a womanizer. Oh womanizer, you're a womanizer, Sweetheart**." Grimmjow turned to the side so Gin could only see the right side of Grimmjow's profile. "**You, you, you are, you, you, you are**," Grimmjow jabbed his thumb at Gin with each 'you' and he waved his hand comically. "**Womanizer, womanizer**-"

"**Womanizer**," Ulquiorra piped up in monotone. "**Boy, no try to front, we know just-just what you are-are-are**."

"**Boy, no try to front**," Grimmjow scolded, moving behind Gin so he couldn't run. Ulquiorra moved in front of the man, "**we know just-just what you are-are-are**." Ulquiorra and Grimmjow met eyes and Grimmjow smirked, swapping places with the Cifer in the blink of an eye. "**You**," he patted Gin's shoulder and then began mock-fanning himself, "**you got me going. You**," he stopped fanning himself and pressed both hands where his heart should be, a mock-hopelessly-in-love look on his face, "**you're oh-so charming, you**." Grimmjow acted dejected. "**But I can't do it. You. Womanizer**."

Ulquiorra sang in his monotone, "**Boy no try to front, we know just-just what you are-are-are**."

Grimmjow waved his finger back and forth in front of Gin's face, singing, "**Boy no try to front, we know just-just what'cha are-are-are**." The duo swapped places and Gin cringed.

"**You**," Ulquiorra jabbed a finger at Gin, "**you say I'm crazy**," he flipped his hair apathetically, "**you. I got you crazy**." He pushed Gin back against Grimmjow. Aizen was watching in vast amusement, not particularly caring about Gin. He was more or less thinking he should do something to get serenaded. "**You**," another jab, "**you're nothing but a, you, Womanizer**."

Grimmjow swung his body to Gin's left and Ulquiorra to Gin's right. Both men slung arms over Gin's shoulders and crushed the man between them. "**Daddy-O**," the Jaegerjaquez began singing, "**Ya got the swagga of a champion**."

"**Too bad for you**," Ulquiorra took over, "**you just can't find the right companion**."

"**We guess when you have one-too many**," they sang together, "**makes it hard, it could be easy**," they glanced at each other blankly.

"**Who you are**," Ulquiorra intoned.

"**That's just who ya are, Sweetheart**," Grimmjow sang, sighing in a 'God Is This Bitch Stupid' kind of way.

Both men leaned in and planted kisses on Gin's cheeks, smacking their lips (thought Ulquiorra REALLY could have been more into it) afterwards. "**Lollipop**," Ulquiorra said.

"**Must mistake me as a sucka**," Grimmjow sang.

"**To think that we**," they went together, motioning between each other with their unoccupied hands, "**would be a victim, not another**."

"**Say it play it how you want to**," Ulquiorra sang monotonously, placing his unoccupied hand on his hip.

"**But no way, we're never gonna fall for you, never **_**you**_**, Sweetheart**," Grimmjow said, mocking a pout. He rested his chin on Gin's head.

"**Womanizer**," both men accused and Aizen smirked, "**Woman-Womanizer. You're a womanizer**." Both sounded incredibly blunt and many of the Espada tripped over nothing (even Creepy Spoon Dude who was sitting. He's just that creepy) and fell flat on their faces. Freaks.

"**Oh womanizer you're a womanizer, Silly**." The two singers and the sing-ee looked and only Jaegerjaquez and Cifer were shocked to see Szayel Aporro Granz as the one who sang. He was new. The rosette threw his arm out, pointing dramatically at Gin. "**You-you-YOU are**."

Grimmjow patted the back of the head his chin was on top of. "**You-you-you are**."

"**Womanizer**," Ulquiorra sang.

"**Womanizer**," Szayel confirmed.

"**Womanizer**," Grimmjow finalized.

Ulquiorra jumped on Gin's back, resting his chin on Grimmjow's head of shock-blue hair. Szayel looked (and felt) left out. "**Boy**," he patted Gin's shoulder, "**no try to front, we know just-just what you are-are-are**." Szayel jumped on Grimmjow's back at the Sixth Espada's nod. He rested his chin on Ulquiorra's black shock of hair.

"**Gin no try to front**," Szayel altered the song, "**we know just-just what you are-are-are**." Grimmjow spun away, shocking all the other men he was essentially wrapped around at the new positions. Grimmjow pressed the back of one hand on his forehead.

"**Gin, you got me going**," he breathed, "**Yep, you're **_**oh-so**_** charming. But**," he gave a sad face, "**I can't do it! You… You Womanizer**!" he accused at the end.

"**Son, no try to front**," Grimmjow announced, "**We know just-just what'cha are-are-are**."

"**Gin no try to front**," Szayel chimed, still on Grimmjow's back, "**we know just-just what you are-are-are**!"

"**You**," Ulquiorra sang into Gin's ear, "**you say I'm crazy**." Here, the Fourth Espada scoffed darkly. "**You, I got you crazy**." The word 'bitch' echoed but went unsaid and Aizen's grin widened in his vast amusement. "**You, you're nothing but a**…"

"**You**," Szayel sang.

"**Womanizer**," they chimed in unison.

Grimmjow moved back to Gin and Szayel removed himself from the blue haired man's person and both draped themselves over Gin who tensed. "**Maybe if we all lived in a different world**," the Espada sang. "**It would all be good**." Szayel sighed. "**And maybe we could be ya boys**." Grimmjow scoffed. "**But we can't 'cause we don't**."

Aizen tilted his head to the side and began humming what he figured to be the chorus of the song. Creepy Spoon Dude sneered at them all.

"**Womanizer, woman-womanizer**," Nnoitra chimed in against his better judgment.

"**You're a womanizer**?" Stark questioned lazily rather than sang.

"**Oh womanizer**," Szayel sang. "**Oh you're a womanizer, Gin dear**."

"**You-you-you are**," Aizen added, just for the hell of it. The looks on the Espada and Gin's faces were worth it either way. "**You-you-you are**…" He emphasized each 'you' with a nod.

"**Womanizer**," Szayel stated.

"**Womanizer**," Ulquiorra confirmed.

"**Womanizer**," Grimmjow decided.

"**Gin no try to front**," Szayel shook his head side-to-side as he sang, "**we know just-just what you are-are-are**."

"**Boy**," Ulquiorra sighed, sliding from Gin's back, "**no try to front, we know just-just what you are-are-are**." Grimmjow and Szayel released the clearly traumatized Ex-Third Captain.

Grimmjow cupped his chin in his hands and sighed mockingly like a love-struck fool. "**You**," he breathed, "**you got me going. You**." He clapped his hands together like a tricked-out fangirl. "**You're oh-so charming**!" he squealed mockingly. "**You, but**…" He looked away 'shyly' and sang rather violently, "**I can't do it! You! Womanizer**."

"**Gin, no try to front**," Szayel waved a hand back and forth in front of his face, "**we know just-just what you are-are-are**."

"**Son, no try to front**," Grimmjow sang, folding his arms across his chest. He gave Gin a look. "**We know just-just what'cha are-are-are**."

"**You**," Ulquiorra waved in the general direction of Gin, staring slightly to the left of Creepy Spoon Dude's head. "**Gin says I'm crazy**." He scoffed and folded his arms across his chest, glaring sideways at Gin. "**Gin, I got you crazy! Gin, you're nothing but a… Gin, Womanizer**."

"**He can't try to front; you know just-just what he is-is-is**?" Stark questioned them blankly.

Szayel nodded. "**Gin no try to front; we know just-just what he is-is-is**."

"**Womanizer**?" Stark questioned.

"**Woman-Womanizer**." Szayel nodded.

"**You're a womanizer**," Ulquiorra sang to Gin.

"**Oh womanizer**," Grimmjow sang, pressing his palms against either of his temples. "**Oh, you're a womanizer, Sweetheart**." Gin swallowed in horror. That… Aizen smiled and stood, applauding lightly. No one else clapped.

"……" Gin looked on the verge of tears. How peculiar. Eh, he honestly had it coming. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Damn whores anyways," he complained, winking saucily at Ulquiorra before leaving. He stopped in the doorway and waved to Aizen. "Ja ne, Aizen-Sama…"


End file.
